


Tumbling Down

by shuns



Series: Falling Down [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Because I miss you, F/F, F/M, FTF Comments section, Found This, How can I already have juvenilia?, Word faucet, dabbling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-22 13:27:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15582987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shuns/pseuds/shuns
Summary: A little dab 'll do you? I found this in the vaults and did a quick polish for a fun summer surprise.Almost like the ice cream truck coming down the street, but without the creepy music.





	Tumbling Down

**Author's Note:**

  * For [uselessenglishmajor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/uselessenglishmajor/gifts), [HeartSandwich](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeartSandwich/gifts), [lunalunemoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunalunemoon/gifts), [5cents](https://archiveofourown.org/users/5cents/gifts), [strawberrycupcake_huckleberrypie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberrycupcake_huckleberrypie/gifts), [Spcebaby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spcebaby/gifts), [Ernzo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ernzo/gifts).



> I lost power and internet in a storm a week ago. When I was working off-line in Word, I found this exchange I had with HeartS when we were editing Rock and a Hard Place. We should have been writing that story, but instead I was just making up a new stories about Malaak and (at the time my arch nemesis) Elsa.
> 
> Remember when Sunday nights were crazy comments and GIF parties? How I sometimes long for those halcyon days when I didn't have to worry about my Muse who is a complete and utter twat that demands Graeter's raspberry chocolate chip ice cream for anything more than 2,000 words per week.

[From the March 8, 2018 Comments thread. ](https://archiveofourown.org/comments/153620229)

shuns on Chapter 33 of FTF

Okay listen.. seriously stop with the tea. First Elsa needs to have a lame ass idea like ALL of her ideas are... Like maybe I should invite Malaak on a picnic. Because picnics like communism or shower sex sound good but are such a let down...

But then...as the picnic falls apart like room temperature potato salad (which can kill you),  Malaak steps in with a flask of fire whiskey (he couldn't give it up for that long) and peanut butter/jelly sandwiches.

Malaak and Elsa bond over wanting to kill Hux. He offers to teach her how to hold a blaster properly. Cue them standing behind her during target practice and he puts his arms around her to "adjust" her stance to shoot correctly (so Robin Hood Prince of Thieves) as he breathes in her ear, "Now squeeze." (Inner monologue Malaak not what I wish you were squeezing.)

His breath trick makes her miss the target, which ricochets and almost kills him. (Inner monologue Malaak, she tried to kill me it must be love.)

She blames him for distracting her. They banter.

Then it starts to rain (of course) and her dress gets really clingy. He doesn't mind. Then their lips seem to have a gravity of their own and come crashing together...

They run to some sort of gazebo/shed. As they start to have sexy SEX,  Malaak composes a dirty limerick to commemorate the occasion.

 

_This is where the comment ended, but I could not be stopped. I should have been working on Rock and Hard Place with HeartS. But instead I continued this AU dabble for just HeartS and myself. It's so bananas and I NEVER see you guys any more (hint hint UEM and Berry) that I thought you might enjoy a peek at the writing process shuns/HeartS style. Perhaps it might inspire?_

 

March 8, 2018 Google Doc Comment Thread

 **shuns** : So did you see my Malaak and Elsa dabble? I put Malaak and Elsa have a super lame picnic that gets rained out. He would give her some pretty hair do-dad and she would give him a hankie she embroidered to look like his tattoo. Because picnics are the worst.

 **HeartS:** Yes, I do recall reading your amazing sex comment regarding them in the rain.

 **shuns:** Then they would get rained out from the picnic and have a furious make out session in a shed where they would make it to 3rd base before Malaak realized that she was a virgin and she would complain about the fertilizer smell.

They agree to take a time-out and reconvene later. Preferably, in a room with more soft, horizontal surfaces and less smelly.

 **HeartS:** Your brain, you have a wild imagination

 **shuns:** He shows up at her door all ready to have sex. He opens it up to find the room a complete mess.

 **HeartS:** Oh NO, but please go on.

 **shuns:** The Resistance thinks that he did something to her and he gets PISSED.  Because honorable!

 **HeartS:** But really SHE WAS KIDNAPPED? Right?

 **shuns:** I imagine it would be POE.

Oh yeah.. because Elsa had found out the dirt on Hux's dirty dealing.

So Malaak makes and elaborate vow something like… ‘by the Paladins of Peralaall I will find her and bring her back’.

 **HeartS:** I thought it might be Poe. LOL

 **shuns:** "Intact,” says Leia... wiggling her eyebrows.

 **HeartS:** hahahahahhahahahahahaahahaha

 **shuns: “** Intact, “ he grumbles.

 **HeartS:** Gross

 **shuns:** He was going to have to look up that word later....

So he goes stomping down the hall to where Maz is. He asks for her help and she totally throws in with him, "Why not, its not like I'm not getting any younger." She brings along Fuck Bunny 1 and 2. Cut to, a fast small cruiser leaving Coruscant, but Malaak realizes he has no idea where they are going... WAIT I KNOW… they need to find the second best pirate in the galaxy... Elsa’s sister!?!?!?

As they are in hyperspace. he hears a noise, it's crunching.  He opens a small cabinet to find Rohak eating crackers. Because every adventure needs a plucky 8 year old.

 **HeartS:** omg

You’re just still going.

You’re like a word faucet.

 **shuns:** There is a fantastic scene with Selena losing her mind that her 8 year old son is in hyperspace with an ancient mini pirate who has dubious morals and a Knight of Ren who dislikes furniture headed toward certain doom. She is giving them the business over the holoprojection and Umir is so jealous. He keeps jumping up asking about the ship and the laser cannons and being a super annoying younger brother.

Malaak promises to send Rohak home when they jump out of hyperspace. Which is conveniently near the _Reaper_....

Because you know I need some more General Janeek Yellen action.

They are going to try to pawn Rohak off on that ship because the _Reaper_ is headed towards Coruscant, but Rohak fakes them out and gets back on the ship.

But by now they realize that Elsa is being held by dum dum DUMMMM

…..Greta Granite

Cut to Elsa waking up on Greta's ship, but it turns out that Elsa connects with Greta when she find out about poor Krystal.

She can't believe what a cad Malaak was.

 **HeartS:** STFU WITH THIS

hahaha

omg

 **shuns:** It turns out that she is a HUGE Gneiss Girrls fan.  She starts singing for Greta. And Greta is moved, like really moved. She kisses Elsa. There is fumbliing and just as they are about to get their girl friction on the comm beeps.

Is it Malaak to save the day?

NOPE...

It’s Trista. (Elsa’s evil but way more likable twin who is the second best pirate in the galaxy.)

Trista wants to know when Greta will drop off Elsa.

Then Elsa tells Greta about how much of a general jerk Trista has been to Elsa ALL HER LIFE.

 **HeartS:** I was thinking who is Trista?

But she's the twin, right?

 **shuns:** Yep (pops my P for emphasis.).

 **HeartS:** WHO ARE YOU

This is why you’re the writer and I am your humble servants.

 **shuns:** Not true. You are an enabler that helps me come up with crazy shit.

But, here is the set up, unfortunately, Trista made a very, very bad choice while drinking and playing cards. She is now engaged to a Hutt.

AND AINT NO ONE WANTS THAT!

 **HeartS:** So she hired Greta to kidnap Elsa?

 **shuns:** Uh-huh, she will happily sell her sister down the river to the Hutts, because EVIL TWIN!

 **HeartS:** They are going to do a switcharoo on the Hutt? Since, they are equally beautiful and the Hutt is so stupid, he’ll  never know the difference.

 **shuns:** Cut to Malaak... he had just looked up what intact meant and IS VERY VERY MAD at Leia.

 **HeartS:** OMG, like are they going to do a hymen check when she gets back?

 **shuns:** But he is onto Trista’s plan. There  is radio chatter or some other plot device shit that has picked up Trista’s nefarious plan. He RAGES... chairs get thrown.

“SHE WILL MARRY NO ONE UNLESS IT IS ME.”

(famous last words)

 **HeartS:** Cue arrival of Greta’s ship to deliver her kidnappee.

 **shuns:** Malaak rockets off and somehow Maz and Rohak come up with a cunning plan that doesn't work but... kind of does? I have a feeling that General Janeek Yellen might be involved, because she will want to visit/try to kill Maz.  Because they are old frenemies and that’s what frenemies do.

BTW Janeek loves Rohak...because precocious 8 year old!  She totally wants grand kids.

Malaak goes berserk and fights everyone with much bashing of heads and such. Everyone comes to a standstill and they all look at Elsa.

But in all this Elsa has had an awakening. She can do more than just be a decoration.

Greta offers a spot in the band, because she has a great voice.

Trista offers her second-in-command in her pirate outfit, because she feels bad about being a shitty sister.

Janeek offers her a commision on the _Reaper_ as an Economist 3rd class, “I see big things ahead for you, my girl.”

Malaak is crushed... he offers nothing. His internal monologue is _She could anything in the universe. What would she want with me? I’m a broken man._

And we are dying inside, like DUMMY you just saved her. She loves you and you love her. Just fucking SAY IT. SAY YOU LOVE HER. (ARRRRGGggghh sweet agony).

Elsa because she is a lady and has good manners, thanks the ladies for considering her, but she want to make her own way...

 **HeartS:** right onto MALAAKS TURBO LASER?

Sorry I had to ask.

 **shuns:** She turns to Malaak, "My Malaak, there is no galaxy where I could be me without you."

 **HeartS:** meep

 **shuns:** He didn't say anything. He wasn't sure that words could even encompass what he was feeling.

He was so broken. He had hurt so many people, beings, chairs. (But this is all internal and he says nothing out loud.)

Elsa is worried. _Did he not hear me? Gods, he was dense enough that light bent around him_. She tried again, "I choose you. If you'll have me."

Words, He needed words. "Yes." was all he could choke out.

 **HeartS:** I’m shrieking (FYI).

 **shuns:** She raised an eyebrow. _He had agreed without a fight, Now was time to press my advantage,_ "But on one condition..."

"Name it..."

.... hmmm

should they get married or shouldn't they?

ORRRRR

Rohak runs in

with a urgent message from Coruscant

CIVIL WAR

yeah Civil War!!!

 **HeartS:** Whhhhhat??????

 **shuns:** Hux makes his move!

 **HeartS:** MARRIAGE I REQUIRE MARRIAGE

Oh ok.

Thats fair.

 **shuns:** WAIT>>>>>

Not done yet...

Malaak who had stood on the precipice of joy, so close to happiness, exchanged a stricken look with Elsa, “I must go. My brothers need me.,” he said.

“Not alone,” she replied. She looked at Janeek, “Can we get a ride?”

Janeek replied, “Of course, hopefully by the time we get there you will have decided to take me up on my offer.”

So the whole crew, Trista, Greta, Maz, Maz's Boy Toys, Janeek Yellen, Rohak, Elsa and Malaak return to the nonsense of Hux trying to wage a civil war.

In a truly masterful stroke Janeek and Maz call in favors and Hux loses his financial backers thus ending the civil war for want of funds.

Trista leads a raiding party and kidnaps Hux.  She decides to keep him as her new submissive sex slave, Hux is not a fan of this plan at first but he gets into it. 

 **HeartS:** OO!!!

Yes, I approve.

 **shuns:** Meanwhile Elsa negotiates an end the civil war and Janeek gets a central bank.

She asks Elsa to be one of the governors, "But I know nothing about economics?" said Elsa.

"Neither do most economists" Janeek sniffed.

Then Malaak makes a big show about Elsa being returned "intact" and Leia says she was kidding.

Malaak and Elsa get in a big argument about love, virginity what everything means.  She storms off. Leia looks at him, “You _ARE_ going to follow her aren’t you?”

“Should I?” asks Malaak.

“Only if you like sex, ” quips Leia.

 

He catches her in the same courtyard where they had the disastrous picnic. They argue and it turns into banter, then flirting. Of course, it starts to rain, again. The go to the shed and have sex for reals.  SO MUCH SEX. Licking, touching, moaning, breathing, throbbing members, wet folds, molten cores, silken sheathes and just general wetness. ALL THE SEX TROPES COME OUT TO PLAY.

But this begs the question, if they had just had sex at the beginning instead of being ridiculous and waiting for the perfect moment would they have avoided all this?

They elope later that night for that reason because waiting for perfection can defeat love. And eloping is the best.

 **HeartS:** Who are the witnesses?

True Dat.

 **shuns:** DUH Maz, Janeek and Captain Nash Jahnsen and Poe though Rohak is the ring bearer.

 **HeartS:** Oh sorry, obviously.

 **shuns:** "So what was your one condition" Malaak asked.

"Hmm..?" Elsa had reached a point of bliss that made words irrelevant.

"You said you had one condition to be with me." said Malaak

.....

and the Muse fails me.

I don't know what it should be?  HELP?

 **HeartS:** Something sappy like, “You will always be my Malaak”?

<<\--- not a writer

 **shuns:** I know..sappy.. But too Lifetime Channel.

 **HeartS:** I would like to reiterate that you are crazy.

I don’t understand how your brain works.

You just wrote a whole story in the comments thread of a story we are editing.

You could expand that and make it real or just share it as is so people could see your crazy process.

 **shuns:** Elsa colored, "At the time I was going to ask if we could have sex in a proper bed. But considering that waiting for a proper bed is the reason I got kidnapped which denyed me all of this (gestures to the majesty that is Malaak).... And here we are in _our_ shed, again…” she voiced trailed off and she shrugged her beautiful shoulder, “Beds are overrated."

 **HeartS:** That's cute.

 **shuns:** Malaak nuzzled her neck, humming in agreement. He was glad she finally understood that where you loved wasn't important as that you loved. That was what mattered

OHHH

 **HeartS:**...

 **shuns:** There was a story thread in Rock in the Hard Place that I don’t think I ever followed. Each of Malaak’s tattoos meant something.

Like the lines were going to be women he had loved (all 10,685 of them).

The shapes were friends and family.

As she traced the lines of his tattoo, "You are the bravest man I know."

"Really?" he asked.

"Yes, even after Jana you tried to love and you kept on trying. The strength needed to do that. I understand why you wanted to mark yourself. They are wounds you wear on your outside."

"Yes"

 **HeartS:** I made that noise again.  You made me meep.

 **shuns:** She turned to him, "But no more. Agreed?"

 **HeartS:** Maybe one more?

 **shuns:**?

 **HeartS:** One last tattoo

For Elsa, his love?

Or no because she is not a wound?

Sorry, to interrupt your reverie.

 **shuns:** No just lost the connection, ducking Comcast. (autocorrect changes fucking to ducking for some reason.)

He shook his head, "No I have one more tattoo I want to add."

She drew back, but he seized her wrist before she could pull away. "It's for you" he growled into her ear.

She squeaked and squirmed under him. It was quite delicious.

What he envisioned was special. Not a line for a female he loved briefly. Or even the square of his friends.

Not, the strong three sided triangle for family. No, she would be a circle because his love for her had no beginning or end.

He had loved her from the moment he had first spoken to this infuriating woman. But he had loved the idea of her, someone who would want him as he was all his life. He knew that even when his body was no more, the Force would carry his love for her on forever.

He already had a circle, it was for Jana over his heart. Elsa's would be bigger. It would have to be as large as his heart, because that is what she had all of his heart.

 **HeartS:** "Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other's gold. A circle is round, it has no end, that's how long I want to be your friend."

Not related, this is the sweetest story.

 **shuns:** Each night wherever they laid together sometimes in bed, or her closet or the smelly shed on occasion, Elsa would trace her circle on Malaak’s body. Geography wasn't her strongest talent, but learning about this particular body was proving to be endlessly fascinating...

and FIN!

 **HeartS:** bowwwwwws down to the queen

 **shuns:** OMG you did not just pull out a girl scout song.

 **HeartS:** Yes I did.

 **shuns:** I would totally work it in.

Thank you though...

It KILLS me that I can't write Malaak and Elsa together...

I SO WANT TOOOOOO.

Take the keyboard away from me, NOW!

 **HeartS:** You can do whatever you want.

 **shuns:** OHHH and at one point in this Alec wakes up and asks so anything going on?

 **HeartS:** It would kill everyone to know how much you really love Malaak and Elsa. You are a total faker shipping them hard core but pretending not to while you write a secret sweet story about them. 

 **shuns:** I know.

 **HeartS:** OK crazy calm down.

You think Alec will wake up and have no idea what happened?

Maybe he will get amnesia?

 **shuns:** OHHH shit? That would be awesome.  Amnesia plot line!

 **HeartS:** And forget how to use the Force?

 **shuns:** LIke Eric on Trueblood?

 **HeartS:** Obviously.

 **shuns:** OMG that would be too perfect.

 **HeartS:** Thank you for getting me.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> (Scene opens on four... no wait... five women of various ages, heights and builds dressed in black suits, white button down shirts and skinny ties. Each one is wearing a Beatle wig. They are holding instruments.)
> 
> HeartS: One, two, three, four.  
> (Music starts)  
> (Hearts, Nickel, Luna, Berry and shuns sing, shuns especially sings loudly and off-key)
> 
> All: We love UEM,  
> Oh yes we do,  
> When you aren't writing fiction,  
> We're blue,  
> Luna: Like Elsa  
> All: Please drop a chapter,  
> Please DO!  
> Oh UEM we love you!
> 
> This goes for all the writers, Ernzo, Berry and UEM. Keep up the good work ladies.


End file.
